Dear St. Mary's of Beverly,
This morning on my way to church one of your priests stepped out into the street without warning not quite eight yards in front of my car. I was forced to slam on my brakes, sending my purse and all its contents flying off the passenger seat and causing my seatbelt to lock. At first I thought the priest was stopping traffic - albeit unnecessarily abruptly - to allow parishoners to cross the street, but then I saw that the priest was alone in the road. He continued to hold up his hand at me for a moment before eventually waving me on. The only conclusion I can draw from this bizarre and dangerous situation is that he thought I ought to slow down. Well, his means of enforcing this personal opinion were unorthodox to say the least.
Please inform your young clergyman that while he may believe my speed of 28 mph on an empty Cabot street at 7:20 on a Sunday morning to be excessive, it is not his job to act as a traffic controller - especially not at the risk of his own life. I don't know how I'd live with myself if I ran over a priest. Even a moronic one.
Very sincerely yours,