Saturday, April 14, 2007

FavoriteBoy vs. Fido

FavoriteBoy is allergic to dogs and cats, so naturally before agreeing to marry him I had to weigh the pros and cons of having a husband vs. having a dog.

A dog would shed hair all over my apartment;
A husband would leave clippings from his sideburns all over the bathroom sink.

A dog would need to be fed once or twice a day;
A husband would expect three meals a day with snacks in between and dessert after dinner.

A dog would gratefully eat whatever generic dog food or meat scraps I set before him;
A husband who happened to be a picky eater would not be so easy to please.

A dog would help me get exercise when I took him for a daily walk;
A husband who was a picky eater would have the opposite effect on my figure by wanting pizza at least once a week.

A dog might need to be trained;
You can't teach a husband many new tricks.

A dog would obey me mindlessly;
A husband would most likely not.

A dog would be a good listener;
A husband would be a good conversationalist.

A dog would alert me to dangerous intruders;
A husband could install better locks for me ahead of time.

A dog would be a companion;
A husband would be a friend.

A dog would lick my face;
A husband would kiss me in a less messy and more controlled fashion.

A dog would snore and drool;
I could hope for a husband that would sleep with more civility.

A dog would poop on the floor if not let out frequently enough;
A husband would not.

I think it was this last one that tipped the scales in Nathan's favor. So I got married.

(But then again, a dog wouldn't keep leaving the toilet seat up, either.)


  1. sure, link it up! Um, I don't really know if the phrase "link it up" makes any sense, but hopefully you can interpret (and excuse) such bizarre usages of English at a time when my mind is distorted with Vietnamese...I am glad you enjoy the blog, I love your hubby stories:) And I hate the word hubby.

  2. And don't forget that dogs only require inexpensive toys while husbands seem to need sailboats, lathes, and other such things...


    Love, Mom

  3. Close call for Nathan... good choice though. :)