The Quotable Husband

Recently Nathan was on some website - downloading a TV show I think - when an ad of a highly questionable nature popped up and started playing.  I'm sitting in the living room with him, and suddenly I hear from his computer, "blah blah blah.... until I found such-and-such-a-site, where you can chat with beautiful women any time of the night, and it's all free!"

And Nathan, pretending like I wasn't right there raising my eyebrows at him, didn't even glance my way, as he said aloud, "Oh, nice, and it's even free!  Yeeeeesssssss!"

* * *

Then this happened on Sunday:

Me: Hey, I'm back to the weight I was before I got pregnant with Nell.  I still feel like I look different, though.
Nathan: I don't think you look any worse than you always did.
Me: ...
Nathan: Wait, that didn't come out right...!

* * *

{But then this happened, too.}