It is with great sorrow that I announce:
The Tragic Death of Mr. G.Q., Resident of Chase 328
On Thursday morning, January 26, my Roommate brutally murdered my beautiful pale blue Revlon 'Get Quiet' hair dryer, rendering it evermore useless.
I know her real plot was to ruin my life, but she didn't succeed, because...
... I bought a new hair dryer! A better hair dryer! It's Revlon too. 'Quiet Ceramic' is the name of this new model. I think it's a good one. I mostly think so because it was less than $20.00.
I probably won't even let her near this one. She's a mean and nasty one, Roommate is. Ruining things is what she does best!