Sunday, February 6, 2005

Eat Worms

Sadness... I went to a Superbowl party, and, being one of the only ones there who wasn't in a particular ensemble, I felt entirely out of place and just sat there listening to their memories and inside jokes from years of being together. And I realized that I'll never have that. They're sad about graduating and will miss one another so much; when my senior friends graduate this year, I'll miss them so much but they won't miss me because I'm not really one of them. I'll never have four years of memories with one close group of inseparable friends. I'll have memories from Biola, memories of friends who were once important but now probably don't even remember me. I'll have memories from Wheaton, of wonderful times spent with people who probably never even think of me now. And I'll have memories from a few years at Gordon, with people who were important to me but to whom I probably never meant very much. This makes me sad.

I think that no one likes me.

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